Random Thoughts and Request for Prayer

Friday, we got to see the little man on an ultrasound and it was amazing. He's gotten so big! We got to see some 3-D images of him and he really looks a lot like Sadie did, so I am so excited to see if he really looks like her in real life. He weighs approximately 6 and 1/2 pounds right now, so if he keeps growing at the same rate over the next 9 days, he'll weigh about the same that Sadie did when she was born. This is all becoming so real to me. Only 9 days left. It's getting down to the nitty gritty now. I lay awake just about every night with millions of thoughts running through my mind.
I have to humble myself to write this blog, because I am begging for prayers here. It's hard to ask others for prayer when you know that so many people are going through so many things that are far more serious than what you are going through, but I also believe so strongly in prayer, so I am asking that you join with me over the next 9 days and help to lift up these issues to the Lord in prayer.
First of all, if you know me at all, you know I'm freaking out about having to leave Sadie while I'm in the hospital having the baby. I know I'll get to see her while I'm there, and I know she's going to be in the best of care the whole entire time, but I'm just not looking forward to it. There's no other way to put it. I dread it, if you want to know the honest truth. So, I'm asking that you pray that God will lift the anxiety of leaving her from my thoughts, and that I will be able to have a peace in my heart when I leave her that Wednesday morning, knowing that she will be perfectly fine without me. I read something the other day that spoke of things like these, and it said specifically that we cannot be with our children all of the time, but God can. We cannot know everything but God certainly can. God loves our children so much more than we can ever imagine, and He wants them to be taken care of so much more than we do. So, why should we worry??? I guess in some ways, it's just human nature.
Second of all, I'm asking that you pray for me and for Sawyer as I have my c-section. It seems to be a little scarier the 2nd time around, because I know exactly what to expect. I know exactly when it's going to hurt, I know exactly when I threw up last time during the surgery, I know exactly when I all of a sudden felt like I couldn't breathe, and I know exactly how bad my horomones went nuts for the 1st few days after Sadie was born. I was a basketcase! So, please pray that God will be with us and help us to both be healthy through the whole procedure, and that my fears will be lifted. I am fully aware that Satan is going to try and steal every bit of Joy from me during this time, and I am determined to not allow that to happen! Also, please pray that I will have some good nurses this time. I had the worst experiences with almost every one of my nurses when I had Sadie, and I am praying so hard that God will bless me with better nurses this time. It makes a huge difference, so although it seems petty, I know my experience last time would've been a hundred times better had I had nurses that were even just a little bit friendly to me, instead of making me cry because they were so rude.
Thirdly, as all of you new parents know, the first few weeks/months with a new baby are rough. Since it's only been a short 16 months since Sadie was born, I haven't forgotten one moment of her first few months home. It was wonderful, but at the same time, I haven't soon forgot the SLEEPLESS nights for months and months and months. I know it's going to be even harder this time around as well, because I'll have 2 to take care of. I know it's not impossible, and I certainly know that I can do it, but I also know that I can't do it the right way without God intervening and giving me the strength each day to take care of the 2 of them like I should.
Lastly, Dennis and I just have a lot going on right now. Probably not everyone knows about every single thing, but we just have a lot going on. Period. It's just kind of one of those times in your life when you feel like everything is piling up on you at the same time, and without the Lord's help, you know you'd surely crumble. I know that God is in control of everything, but that doesn't mean that sometimes we don't question ourselves and the decisions we make. I don't want either of us to lose sight of the important things in life right now due to the other issues popping up around us. So, I'm asking that you pray for us to see clearly through every decision and that we can feel peace during these next few months.
My biggest vice is fear, worry, and anxiety. It plagues me. I will be honest. I hate it with a passion, but it's something I have to give to the Lord every single day. He is definitely helping me through my fears and I know He is with me all the way. He is the God of peace, and I know that He wants me to feel that peace that He is offering. So, thank you for your prayers. They mean so much, and I already know that I will feel them.