Saturday, February 18, 2012

Tough start to the New Year!

I have been a bit absent from the blogging world for the past few weeks and for that, I am sorry. More sorry to myself, b/c I have failed in keeping up with what's been going on!
The past 6 weeks or so have been...well...HARD for me.
I feel as though Satan has tried to attack me in every way possible ever since I started doing Beth Moore's "James" study. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change one. single. thing.
That study has rocked my world in the best way possible, but I wouldn't say it's been easy.
I have been in God's Word more in the past 6 weeks than I have ever been before. Yes, even more than when I did the Chronological Bible Study last year and I was reading the Bible every single day. This has been different. I've been actually "studying" the Bible instead of just "reading" it. There's a huge difference. Huge.
I hope that woman (Beth Moore) gets an extra special seat right up close to the throne of God when she gets to Heaven. I adore her for some reasons, but mostly b/c she teaches me more than anyone else I can think of. She gets me. She doesn't even know me on a personal level, but she gets me.
Anyways, January was just a gloomy, boring, blah month. February has started about the same.
Sadie has had a horrible stomach virus for the past 6 days, and it has about put me over the edge. I love taking care of her. Don't get me wrong. But, my sweet little Sadie has just been gone. She's been so weak, so sad, in pain, frustrated, and just plain sick. Poor Sawyer has had to settle with "Mommy" as a playmate, and I'll be honest, I'm just not as good of a playmate as Sadie is! I think he truly misses her! I don't play trucks and cars as good as she does, apparently. I don't do well being cooped up in the house for an extended amount of time. I like to be out and about. I like being connected.
I have felt very disconnected all together.
Some relationships have become even further strained during this first part of the year. Some relationships have grown and flourished, praise the Lord.
Even though it's been a tough start to the New Year, I wouldn't trade the "boredom" for anything. Simply because I get it.
I get that the reason I'm created is to know my God. I'm just supposed to know Him, read about Him, talk to Him, etc.
I can do that.
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
So, the reason I wouldn't trade this "tough" start to 2012 is because ABOVE ALL, I've come to know my Jesus deeper than ever before and I don't want to rush "such a time as this".