Sunday, October 21, 2007

Thanking God Every Day

Have you ever had one of those Sundays in church when the Pastor says something that just hits you like a ton of bricks? I had one of those today. It even got to the point where I was so overcome with emotion, I almost felt like I was either going to scream out crying or just fall over in the aisle. I held back though. It was probably best. At the end of the sermon during the invitation, Bro. David was inviting people to come down and pray at the alter before they took the Lord's supper, etc. He was giving people the opportunity to pray with some of the deacons/pastors of the church if they felt that they needed someone to "believe on their behalf". Sometimes, it's just easy to give up, and sometimes you just need someone to pray for you and "believe" when you feel as though all hope is gone. He welcomed anyone who might need prayers for their own salvation, financial burdens, loved ones to be saved, etc...

He then mentioned, ever so quickly, that if there were any couples who have been trying to conceive for a long time, and they needed to come and have someone pray with them, they were more than welcome. Well, of course that hit me like a ton of bricks. We began singing a song, and I saw a number of couples going down to pray at the alter. I'll never know if those particular couples were down there praying for a child that they haven't been able to have, but I do know that the Lord laid a heavy, heavy burden on my heart to begin praying for them immediately, and so I did. My heart just began to break for those who are still out there trying so hard to have a child of their own.

Dennis and I were in their position such a short time ago. Not a day goes by that I don't look at Sadie and thank God for her. Not a day goes by that I don't remember those feelings of sadness that I felt every month for almost 2 years when we couldn't get pregnant. And, not a day goes by that I don't remember that feeling of loss when I miscarried. Sadie is so, so, so special to me. I just want God to know every single day how thankful I am for her. I don't ever want Him to think that I am taking her for granted. It's not something that I talk about a lot, because I don't believe it's healthy to dwell on past hurts like that, but I also think God allows me to remember those hurts, so that I will love and appreciate Sadie that much more. Maybe that's why I hold her a little bit more. Maybe that's why I don't like to let her cry. Maybe that's why I long to be with her so often.

I just know that I'm so blessed to have her in my life. And, I know that I came to the point many times where I needed God to help me in my unbelief. I needed people to believe for me when I just couldn't believe anymore. There are so many people out there who are going through the same thing, and I just think it's so important to remember.
Sorry, I just felt that I needed to share my heart a bit.

2 comments:

MOM said...

YOU HAVE TRULY BLESSED MY HEART. I LOVE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS TREASURED SO MUCH. I REMEMBER TELLING RACHEL WHEN SHE FIRST HAD CHANCE "NOW YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YA'LL". DON'T FORGET IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS. I LOVE YOU BOTH MORE EVERYDAY.

Elizabeth S said...

That was a beautiful post. I am a friend of Rachel's and found your blog through hers. Anyway, it touched my heart. I haven't had trouble conceiving, but have several friends that have and God has taught me to not take one day with my kids for granted. He has also put a special place in my heart for those who do have trouble, to pray for them and love them. Thank you for sharing your heart; it really blessed me!