Well, Thanksgiving 2012 will go down in the books for me as the most depressing Thanksgiving to date! I am just being honest here...which is what my blog is about. I'm not trying to sugarcoat things on here.
Sadie got a HORRIBLE stomach virus in the middle of the night on the weekend before Thanksgiving. She threw up for about 12 hours straight, every 10-15 minutes. Then, the next day, she started having diarrhea...then, the next day, it was a little of both...the next day was a tad bit better...then, came Thanksgiving Day. Well, we couldn't take her anywhere because she had still been having an upset stomach the day before and she felt AWFUL from not eating for 5 days. So, I stayed home with her while Dennis took Sawyer to Pam and Corky's for lunch. She did help me put up the Christmas tree, but only before a little while when she tired out and had to lay down. Bless her. I remember getting so angry that day because I was feeling sorry for us. How stupid is that? It was just another day. And, to be quite honest, looking back on it, it was kind of nice to just chill out all day and spend time with her in a very quiet atmosphere. But, at the time, I was so sad.
In the midst of ALL of this, Memaw was taken to the hospital, thought to have had a heart attack, which ended up just being an infection around her heart, but STILL...it was so scary and so sad to not have her at home for Thanksgiving. I have never spent a Thanksgiving without going to Memaw and Pepaw's house, so that definitely added to my depression. Thank the Lord, she was okay, and she is back home now, but it was just not a good week all together.
Dennis and Sawyer left for the farm on Thursday night, so it was day 5 of me and Sadie being stuck at home for hours on end. Geez! I can totally see how people get depressed when they crawl in their hole and stay away from all outside things. I hope to never be stuck at home for the many days in a row again!
Looking back on it, (and trying to be positive) I do feel that Sadie and I got closer; reached a new level if you will. We snuggled, chatted, and I got to care for her like I haven't gotten to in a long time. She wanted me and only me for the most part, and that made me feel so good.
Friday morning, we decided to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Sadie still wasn't eating, but we were both going stir crazy, so we decided to grab Rachel and Emma and head to the farm where all of the boys were. It was a beautiful day and it did me some good to get some fresh air. I think it made Sadie feel soooooo much better too!! We had a wonderful day. The Simpsons were all there, Corky, Keith, and Jeffrey/Chance. The kids had a BALL all day long. We just sat by the fire and chatted and had a wonderful time while the boys hunted. After my depressing/pity party-of-a-day Thanksgiving, Friday was welcomed with open arms!
I have not been in the Christmas spirit yet...usually, I am chomping at the bit to get my house decorated, tree up, shopping etc., but for some reason this year, I am just not feeling it. I know most of it has to do with our finances. When you don't have the money to go out and buy the gifts that you want to buy for the ones that you love, it can take a major toll on your emotions, attitude, etc. I am trying (HARD) to focus on the REAL reason for the season and look to Jesus every time I start to feel down or sad. But, for the first time, I can totally see how people can get really down in the dumps during the Christmas season. I have never had to deal with this before, but I am just trying to see what God wants to teach me through all of this.
As Thanksgiving ends, REAL Christmas is beginning. I am willing to put my sadness aside to experience the excitement and magic of the season with my kids. They deserve nothing less! They are already so excited!!! They helped Dennis put up the outside decorations last night and they are really fired up about that.
Here's to a happy, joyful, thankful, learning , and hope-filled season...even when I am just hoping for hope...
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